Wednesday, December 11, 2013

CP 230 The wedding and the marriage...

CP 230 The wedding and the marriage…
Hi people… this is the second of the snippets on marriage which I have collected as discussion starters over the years. It comes from the pen of Eugene Peterson, in a book called “The quest for life at its best.” Any of this man’s writing is worth a read. In the piece I’m quoting today he wants to cut through the trivialities to get his ‘guests’ chewing something with gutsy challenge. Having worked with more than a few couples who have embarked on that admirable and noble journey together I can tell you it isn’t always a done deal that they want to focus on the long view. Anyway, read it for your own sake. The italics are mine.
(And again, if you have any snippets on marriage I’d welcome you sending them to me for inclusion.)

Thinking about marriage (2)
A Lifelong Career
When I talk with people who come to me in preparation for marriage I often say, “Weddings are easy; marriages are difficult”. The couple want to plan a wedding; I want to plan a marriage. They want to know where the bridesmaids will stand; I want to develop a plan for forgiveness. They want to discuss the music of the wedding; I want to talk about the emotions of the marriage. I can do a wedding in twenty minutes with my eyes shut; a marriage takes year after year after year of alert, wide-eyed attention.

Weddings are important. They are beautiful; they are impressive; they are emotional; sometimes they are expensive. We weep at weddings and we laugh at weddings. We take care to be at the right place at the right time and say the right words. Where people stand is important. The way people dress is significant. Every detail – this flower, that candle – is memorable. All the same, weddings are easy.

But marriages are complex and difficult. In marriage we work out, in every detail of life, the promises and commitments spoken at the wedding. In marriage we develop the long and rich life of faithful love that the wedding announces. The event of the wedding without the life of marriage doesn’t amount to much. It hardly matters if the man and woman dress up in their wedding clothes and re-enact the ceremony every anniversary and say, “I’m married, I’m married, I’m married,” if there is no daily love shared, if there is no continuing tenderness, no attentive listening, no inventive giving, no creative blessing.
                                                                         From “The quest for life at its best”
Eugene Peterson  P. 68

Thanks, and the Lord bless you.
Pastor Fred


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