DEADENING SILENCE? - CROSSPURPOSES 145
DEADENING SILENCE?
A friend wrote to me recently – I’ll call her Jazz – about where she is currently ‘at’.
Here is a part of her email:
“I am really struggling with my faith – our mutual friends gave me “The Shack” to read and suggested the ‘read the bible in a year’ so I will do that at least. Until last week I hadn’t been to church at all for quite a few months, I had just given up (again). I have had really bad depression for the last 2 years – taking medication and seeing a psychologist (useless)…I look back now and know I had some kind of spiritual burnout of breakdown – I thought things would get better as time went on but it really hasn’t, and bit by bit I gradually removed myself from the church community and God, it all happens so easily if you let it. Not sure why I have just ‘dumped’ all that on you – shouldn’t write emails in the middle of the night, one is often more emotional…”
Did my heart bleed for her? Of course. I know a lot of what’s going on in there. Been there, done that. Am there, doing that. There is nothing so hard as hearing all the promises of scripture about ‘streams of living water welling up to eternal life’ and my sheep hear my voice, I know them and they know me’, and to feel as though you are living in a personal arid wilderness.
It truly does seem that God has absconded and you are on your own. They say silence can be deafening but sometimes silence is deadening! It’s painful, in ways you can never explain, to feel that you are not on God’s radar. It’s not difficult to slide into despair.
There is much comfort in knowing that Jesus was in that place too. He experienced that silence, that forsakenness. “My God, my God, why…why have you forsaken me?’ He had done nothing to deserve being cut-off, yet he experienced the cut off with an intensity no one has ever known before. He allowed it to happen for you and for me.
Jazz’s journey is my journey too. I too have despaired. But one thing changed my approach. One insight. I was challenged to choose whether I was going to believe what I felt or what I knew was written in scripture. People might talk about being drawn closer to God. Good for them. The scripture says something different to strugglers.
“I am with you always”. “Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Nothing! Not death, not life. Not noise, not silence. God is for us! This and this alone is the beginning and foundation of hope. Jesus died and Jesus lives!
Yes there might be homework to do, rebellion to repent and confess. Yes it might be a painful journey. But Jazz, and Fred, and all you others, you are never, ever, off the Father’s radar!
Bless you all.
Fred
A friend wrote to me recently – I’ll call her Jazz – about where she is currently ‘at’.
Here is a part of her email:
“I am really struggling with my faith – our mutual friends gave me “The Shack” to read and suggested the ‘read the bible in a year’ so I will do that at least. Until last week I hadn’t been to church at all for quite a few months, I had just given up (again). I have had really bad depression for the last 2 years – taking medication and seeing a psychologist (useless)…I look back now and know I had some kind of spiritual burnout of breakdown – I thought things would get better as time went on but it really hasn’t, and bit by bit I gradually removed myself from the church community and God, it all happens so easily if you let it. Not sure why I have just ‘dumped’ all that on you – shouldn’t write emails in the middle of the night, one is often more emotional…”
Did my heart bleed for her? Of course. I know a lot of what’s going on in there. Been there, done that. Am there, doing that. There is nothing so hard as hearing all the promises of scripture about ‘streams of living water welling up to eternal life’ and my sheep hear my voice, I know them and they know me’, and to feel as though you are living in a personal arid wilderness.
It truly does seem that God has absconded and you are on your own. They say silence can be deafening but sometimes silence is deadening! It’s painful, in ways you can never explain, to feel that you are not on God’s radar. It’s not difficult to slide into despair.
There is much comfort in knowing that Jesus was in that place too. He experienced that silence, that forsakenness. “My God, my God, why…why have you forsaken me?’ He had done nothing to deserve being cut-off, yet he experienced the cut off with an intensity no one has ever known before. He allowed it to happen for you and for me.
Jazz’s journey is my journey too. I too have despaired. But one thing changed my approach. One insight. I was challenged to choose whether I was going to believe what I felt or what I knew was written in scripture. People might talk about being drawn closer to God. Good for them. The scripture says something different to strugglers.
“I am with you always”. “Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Nothing! Not death, not life. Not noise, not silence. God is for us! This and this alone is the beginning and foundation of hope. Jesus died and Jesus lives!
Yes there might be homework to do, rebellion to repent and confess. Yes it might be a painful journey. But Jazz, and Fred, and all you others, you are never, ever, off the Father’s radar!
Bless you all.
Fred
posted by PastorFredVeerhuis at 10:51 AM
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