Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Grandpa and Grandma go to heaven - CROSS PURPOSES 132


September 3rd 2008

Grandpa and Grandma go to heaven.

They were both 85 years old – and their last wedding anniversary marked 60 years of ‘bliss’. They weren’t young but they were certainly in rude health because the wife was insistent on nutritious food and lots of exercise.

One day this good health proved little help to them – their plane crashed and they went off to heaven…

Peter led them to a wonderful cottage with a magnificent kitchen, spacious rooms and a waterfall visible from the back deck. In astonishment, they caught their breath when Peter said: “Welcome to heaven, this is your new house.”

The old man, being Dutch, asked Peter what this would all cost. “Well, nothing,” said Peter, “This is yours and yours alone.”

Then the old man looked out the side window and saw a golf course, lovelier than he had ever seen on earth. “What are the green fees?” he asked. “Listen,” said Peter, “this is heaven remember. You can play every day, any time of day, and it’s all free.”

Following this they wandered over to the clubhouse and their eyes danced at a marvelous buffet with very conceivable delicacy in abundance. “Don’t ask,” said Peter to the old man, “this is heaven remember, and everything is free for your enjoyment.

The old man looked around and cast a quick eye toward his wife. “But where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea and coffee?” “That’s the best thing about this place.” said Peter. “You can eat and drink as much as you like, of what you like, and you will never get fat or sick.”

The old man thought for a moment.
“No gym or pool aerobics needed for muscle fitness?”
“Only if you want it” said Peter.
“Eat anything I like? Poffertjes and Pavlova and chocolate?”
“No limit” said the heavenly custodian.
“No daily checking of blood sugar levels?”
“Not required ever” said Peter.
“No monitoring of blood pressure or having to swallow handfuls of vitamin supplements?
“Never again. This is heaven remember. Everything you do here is healthy.” said Peter.
The old man turned slowly and addressed his wife. “You with your joyless diets …and endless pushing to exercise…and pills and things…we could have been here twenty years ago!”


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